Couples Therapy can be a very helpful place to go when it feels very hard to get through to our partners, when we are arguing too much, or are feeling isolated and lonely within a couple. The School of Life offers its own couples therapy service, available here: https://bit.ly/2KO5WYg
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“Like many things that help our relationships, couples therapy has a habit of sounding appallingly unromantic, involving patience, gruelling work and a host of embarrassing conversations about matters it would be much nicer never to have to think about – let alone discuss with a partner and a trained stranger. Our culture teaches us to trust and follow our feelings. But couples therapy knows this is to be a disaster, for our feelings are for the most part errant and encoded with primitive responses from a troubled past. So instead, it encourages a far wiser response: standing well back from our first impulses, neutralising them through understanding and where possible rerouting them in less self-punishing and more trusting directions.”

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In India, people do not know much about marriage counseling, as compared to western countries where marriage counseling is happily welcomed. This is obvious because in the western countries, people know that seeking treatment is healthy. People also know what it is all about. First of all, a marriage counselor very empathetically listens to both parties and understands their version of the situation and the concerns. Thereafter the counselor helps them arrive at the root cause of the concerns and difficulties as seen by them. When they get the awareness on the reasons behind their problems, they experience a paradigm shift. They get a realization of their sub-conscious contribution to the negative. A marriage counselor also helps them learn the right way of sharing and expressing their views and creating mutually acceptable solutions to problems at hand. They learn to become a team and sort issues out together. Success of marriage counseling depends on their openness to new ideas and also their willingness to create a good relationship. This process takes a few face to face meetings or phone sessions or over video-conferencing spread over a month or more depending on the case requirements.
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